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Nathan "Nate" Sullivan's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Nathan "Nate" Sullivan

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[10 Jun 2005|05:28am]
I know I haven't updated this in a long time, I guess it's just because nothing too exciting has been going on in my life. My dad's grounded me for two months. that's a lie..I'm keeping myself under house arrest until this black eye and these bruised ribs heal. I wish he didn't have to think beating on me was the only way to get through to me. I get the message. I heard about Mr. Simpson and I'm shocked..I really don't know what to say. I'm here though if anyone Manny needs a shoulder to cry on.
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[19 May 2005|02:49pm]
I can't believe how stupid I was to break up with Manny. I'm so stupid I really don't know why I listened to my father's threats, he kept making them so I had no choice. I didn't want to do it, and now that I realize what a fool I was I'm too late. She's already got a prom date and I'm stuck here sitting here with no desire to do much of anything. I have no motivation anymore, I don't even want to crawl out of bed in the morning. I'm so damn stupid, I feel like such a moron I don't even want to open my eyes anymore. Maybe I should just leave town like he told me too.
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[14 May 2005|12:36pm]
I'm trying not to care, I really am trying to just move on. But its hard when casey another guy keeps talking to my ex-girlfriend and asking her out. She didn't tell me because yeah..she's not talking to me or anything, not that I blame her, but Darcy told me. We've barely been broken up two weeks and already guys are asking her out. I know it shouldn't bother me..but it does. I can't even move on yet and everyone's already over her.

Sometimes I wish I was more like Sully.
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[09 May 2005|07:38am]
I'm such a moron I don't even know what to do with myself now. I already know that it was a mistake and I know there's nothing I can do about it now. It's not like you'll take me back after less then twenty-four hours, but I just..I miss her I don't know what to do anymore. The whole reason I stuck around here was for Manny and now that's over...I'm such a idiot.
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[03 May 2005|02:55pm]
Everytime I go to update, I always forget my password. I don't know why it's not like its hard to remember. It's kind of weird though. OH WELL. Anyways I don't have much to say. Dad kicked Sully out of the house, and I guess our room is now my room. I'm starting to feel a lot better at least, always a plus. I went to the dot with Manny yesterday, we're going to tutor each other in Math even though we both suck at it. Then last night we went to the spring dance neither one of us knew about until like..ten minutes before the dance. It was weird how quickly everyone found out. Anyways we danced, talked, laughed. Then I had to go home because I had a headache. Other then that, nothing else has been happening.
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[25 Apr 2005|01:22pm]
Sully actually stood up to my dad today. We were arguing about what happened to me and he kept saying it was my fault I fell and stuff and Sully walked in. He yelled at him and stuff was said, my dad stormed out. He was really mad a part of me hopes he never comes back. I'd rather live alone with Sully then live with that asshole anymore. I wish he got into a car accident, not that I wish any harm on anyone else but just because I don't know what else to do to get him out of my life.

Wow..that sounds awful.
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[21 Apr 2005|07:29pm]
So I'm awake..I guess. I dont know. I guess I got into a argument with my dad incident or something and fell down the stairs. Hit my head. Sully was actually here when I woke up. Big shock there, he must be getting paid by the old man or something because I know Sully dosen't give a crap about anyone but himself. My heads pounding, I'm being forced to stay at this hospital a few more nights. I need to turn off the light, try and sleep or do something. It's just too boring here.
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[14 Apr 2005|12:16am]
Insert ficlet words hereCollapse )
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[13 Apr 2005|01:39am]
I've been staying at Manny's brothers since her parents got home, it's been cool of them to let me stay there but I can't anymore. I'm moving back in with dad and sully. I know it's probably not going to work I know he probably hasn't changed and he's still the same asshole as ever but I have no choice. He's going to screw everything up for my mom if I don't. Maybe it'll be better, maybe things will be better this time.

Can't get any worse, right? Yeah. Keep telling myself that and it'll be true. In heaven.
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[09 Apr 2005|01:21am]
I got a call from my dad today, he keeps trying to get me to move back home. He says things will be different this time. Why is it so hard to believe him? He's my father I wouldn't mind actually having a real father, like the way he treats Sully is like he treats his own son. Sully is his son but so am I. Why can't he treat me like that? He threatens me and he lies and he expects me to go back.

I do want too though, but I can't.
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[29 Mar 2005|11:22am]
Ever since I came back here from Chicago, Manny's let me crash at her place until her parents come home. I don't know how I can thank her, she's really saved me from that hell of a family. I really think I'm falling for her. We've been spending a lot of time together, too and she's a great person.

I finally got to hang out with Lil yesterday. It's been way too long. I forgot how much fun it is to hang out with her. Especially since I've been running for weeks now. We talked for a while she was all depressed because of that stupid boyfriend kissing another girl. I figured she could use a cheer up thing so we played a little joke on someone, only not so much a joke as destruction of property revenge. Stealing Sully's little black book was great especially when I told her the truth that he's only been with three girls. And the rest are lies. We found something funny disturbing in someone's locker though and decided to burn the book get rid of it. I don't know why, but we went back to my old/Sully's house and broke into his room..it was well and good till Sully and the father from hell came home and we had to run down the fire escape and get the hell out of there. Lil, we need to do that again.
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[27 Mar 2005|02:02am]
Wow I haven't updated this in a while. Sorry about that..a lots just been going on and it's kind of a lot to get down on this journal thing. Telly and I are done..she couldn't handle the whole distance thing I'm not as upset as I thought I would be she still talks to me online every now and then but it's not the same. After my dad dragged me back I managed to sneak out of the house and pretty much took the rest of my stuff. Sully's still on my case about leaving and my dad's pounding down hard on getting me to move back in but I'm not going to do that. Besides, for the next week of so Manny's letting me stay at her house till her parents come home. She's been great for doing this for me.Not to mention, she's probably one of the nicest people I've met since I came here. Other then Lil, Manny's the only person I feel like I can honestly talk too. I forgot what that feels like. Anyways, I dropped by that party tonight but decided against it..so I left.

Not really in a party mood, anyways. So I went for a walk and all. I'm kind of tired now.
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[20 Mar 2005|02:50pm]
I actually let myself believe that my mom was this awesome women he didn't fit into this family because she understood me better then anyone. I actually believed that the whole reason why I am nothing like my dad or Sully is because she showed me to see the good in people and the good in every situation. She promised me that she would never force me to spend any time with my father or brother that I didn't want to. Then she lost her job and she sent me to live with them because she had to go LA to become an actress. She knew I didn't want to spend any time with either of the other men in my family but said that as soon as I felt threatened or felt a need to get away..to call her and she'd buy me a ticket and take me back to her.

Less then a month with them and I already felt too much pressure to be them and other things that happened..I felt a need to get the hell away so when Telly came and we took off..I thought everything was going to be good and fine. We got to Chicago and I called my mom. I asked her to keep with her promise and she..didn't. She told me that I was too young to be living with some girl and she hung up. 20 Minutes later Sully called and told me the old man was on his way.

So..yeah he did manage to drag me back to T.O. but he's at work now and..uh...Manny? Think I can take you up on that offer?
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[16 Mar 2005|03:17am]
Thats it. I'm done. I'm taking off with Telly. I don't know where the hell we're going but all I know is that if I stay here in this dead-end town I am going to end up like him. It terrifies me to no end that someday I'll become him. How do I know that I can trust being myself when there is a huge chance that I can become the next

Aaron "Sully" Sullivan-the cocky, arogant, womanizing scum bag who has no boundries. The guy who will make one girl fall for him and actually believe that he has a heart and cares about her, and make her feel special meanwhile he's doing the same thing to some other girl only he's screwing her.
Or I could get the good end of the stick and end up like...

Dan Sullivan-The abusive asshole who will be married to one women for 20 years while cheating on her for 14 of those 20 years. The bastard that will mold his oldest son into his clone while beating the shit out of his youngest on a daily basis and leave him nothing but a bruised shell of who he could be.

Either way...I lose.

Which is why I need to leave.
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[10 Mar 2005|11:28am]
WOW what an asshole. He thinks just because he donated his sperm one night he has a right to treat me how he wants, like I'm nothing other then a complete dissapointment and waste of space. Well he doesn't need to remind me every fucking day, does he? I guess so since It seems to be his way of a good time. I don't care that Aaron is his "pride and joy". All he is, is the mans clone. He does what he says when he says no questions asked and he thinks that makes him what? Special. Sully, you're not special if anything someone should really hit you with that bat to make you special. instead of me being the one hit

Well, thats fine though because they're both gonna be happy when the old man gets his credit card bill that's maxed out now. I stole his card the other night, got the most expensive room and jacked up on room service and the mini bar. Oh yeah and Lil got herself a nice new dress all thanks to pops and Sully. As soon as he gets that bill and all fingers are pointed to Sully..well I just hope the bastard finally turns on someone else.

I need to stay in today, after whatever crap was in Sull's drawer that I took I feel like crap. I'm going to lay down and get ready to see Telly tomorrow. That's awesome that she's coming to visit, I haven't seen her in too damn long.

Laying down now.
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[08 Mar 2005|10:53am]
So i've been here two days and already I can actually say I've met at least one cool person. I met Lil last night, we talked for..a while it turns out we sort of know each other. Well not really KNOW since we never actually met face-to-face but we both know Telly from when I lived in Chicago. She lived down the street from her and she was actually good friends with her. I remember Telly telling me about her all the time and she kept saying we should meet, said we have a lot in common since we both have messed up families. Its weird how things work out sometimes.

On another note...who's the one that trashed Sully's car? I owe you I actually wanna meet you. to thank you that was out of line. You don't go trash a car. Yeah Sully probably deserved it, hell i'm positive he did but that wasn't even really his car. It was my dads and you have no clue how stupid that was. or now cruel Whatever he did to piss you off..next time just beat the shit out of him but leave the car alone. My dad'll hunt you down..trust me about that.

Well anyways, Degrassi's not as bad as I thought it would be. Got into a fight with Sully last night and i ended up pushing him down the stairs. Whatever. He deserved it, I can see why he's so hated around here. But even I feel bad for the guy I don't even remember when he was a decent person.

Sorry for all the trouble he caused.
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[07 Mar 2005|03:55pm]
Hey, Nate Sullivan here. A lot of people around Degrassi have these journals and I figured, well since I am sort of new..in the sense that I used to live here about two years ago but left and I'm back now. So I guess techincally I'm not new, but the few friends I had here before I left I lost touch with and most of them don't want anything to do with me anymore. It probably has something to do with my name and who is walking around school pretty much destroying it. Yeah..I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. I did say my last name, didn't I? So to answer your question..yes, My brother is Aaron Sullivan well..I guess he pretty much has everyone calling him Sully now.

I just want to clear everything up here..yeah Sully is my brother but I am nothing like him. He's a cocky, arogant bastard and the fact that he's my brother is one thing I am never going to be proud of. So he's good at sports, so what? He thinks he's gods gift to women and I just don't give a damn. I haven't spoken more then two words with him in the two years I've been gone and now that I'm being forced to move back in with him and dad, doesn't mean that I plan on having a actual conversation with him or following in his footsteps.

Now that we have that cleared up someone who's reading this (if anyone is) is probably wondering where I've been these past two years. Well to put it in the easiest way possible, just in case Sully has decided to read this, my parents split up a few years ago. My dad was a egomaniac who's goal in life is to push both his kids into the wonderful world of sports. I wouldn't join any teams..I wanna be an actor dammit. But he got Sully and pretty much made him his damn clone. My mom had enough of my dads crap and took me with her when she left town. Of course it didn't help that dad was cheating on her either. Well so we had two good years away from this town and my dad and brother until my mom lost her job and can't afford to keep me there anymore so..she sent me back. I really don't want to be here.

So someone, please save me from spending every night at home with that asshole of a brother. PLEASE. Thanks for reading this.

--Nate
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